Imagine a classroom where the listless substitute teacher hides in the back, placing his FanDuel bets while students run amok. That’s Minnesota under Coach Tim Walz: razor-thin budgets, drunken spending, and a leader whose own office can’t even manage basic tasks like tracking timesheets, receipts, or inventory. Phony “Minnesota Nice” is no substitute for competence.
And that’s just the bottom layer of the pyramid. Above that sits the broader catastrophe: Minnesota’s now-infamous Somali fraud scandals, a statewide breakdown in oversight so vast even the New York Times couldn’t ignore it. Federal prosecutors now believe members of Minnesota’s Somali community stole more than $1 billion in taxpayer funds — billion with a capital “B” — while state employees who tried to raise concerns were warned that asking basic questions would be labeled “racist.” City Journal had already documented how this wasn’t an isolated abuse but a sprawling system of fraud nurtured under Coach Tim’s sideline shrugging.
The North Star State has lost the plot. And with a state budget of more than $70 billion in the 2024–25 biennium, every error is magnified. It’s like handing the grade book over to a bumbling substitute teacher who doesn’t take attendance, doesn’t collect homework, and has no idea who’s throwing the paper airplanes. The recent audits of Walz’s office show exactly what happens when the person in charge treats taxpayer dollars like bogus bathroom passes.
A November 2025 audit by the Office of the Legislative Auditor didn’t just uncover minor bookkeeping errors. It uncovered a collapse of competence — the sort of failure that, in any serious workplace, would have triggered immediate firings. But this is Walz’s government, where incompetence has become his governing philosophy.
The findings were brutal. The conclusion states, “The offices of the governor and the lieutenant governor generally did not meet the criteria we tested. We identified a significant number of instances of noncompliance and internal control deficiencies related to receipts, inventory, and payroll and nonpayroll expenditures, as well as basic administrative and financial controls.” These are not mere technicalities — this is a fundamental profile of complete incompetence.
During the period reviewed, the governor’s office failed to collect more than $12,000 owed from events at the Governor’s Residence. Employees routinely skipped submitting timesheets. In one department, workers failed to complete their own timesheets for 14 out of 16 pay periods. In another, 7 out of 16. One staffer went sixty-four consecutive pay periods — more than two years — without a single approved timesheet. Retroactive pay adjustments were miscalculated. Vendor payments had no documentation. Reimbursements lacked receipts. Inventory logs were missing or incomplete.
This is not advanced governance. This is Fast Times at Ridgemont High on crystal meth.
Rep. Harry Niska put it plainly: “It’s no wonder that when the state is swimming in billions lost to fraud, Governor Walz can’t even manage the finances of his own office. It has become clear to Minnesotans that the culture of mismanagement and fraud in state government starts with the governor himself.”
Exactly. Bad leadership flows downhill. And this “leadership” is, at best, a bad after-school-special classroom satire brought to life.
What all of this dumbness reveals is what any sane observer picks up within a few sentences of hearing Walz speak: He’s an empty Sears suit teacher, not a leader. Like too many modern educators, he refuses to enforce discipline, preferring the comfort of slogans, equity committees, and whatever talking points his sophomoric handlers hand him.
A state with a $70-plus-billion budget doesn’t need a mascot. It needs a manager. Someone who can count the receipts, sign the paychecks, insist on accountability, and recognize when the kids are running circles around him.
So, picture the classroom again. The substitute teacher has dozed off. The students are scrolling TikTok, popping Zyn. No attendance taken, no authority, no accountability, and certainly no learning. That’s Minnesota today.
Tim Walz isn’t even captaining this ship of fools — he’s the substitute teacher asleep in the helm as the state drifts into a Lake Superior iceberg.
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, 2025-12-11 04:16:00, 
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